*UPDATE - of course, as KM mentioned in the comments, we are also VERY happy for everyone's good news. It should be more encouraging than discouraging that dreams DO come true!
I think it's probably common to wish you were in a different place, no matter WHERE you are yourself. Unless you're J.K. Rowling, there's always someone ahead of you (and I'll bet even she admires someone else--you never know). For some reason, we get it into our heads that we need to rush rush rush. "But I want to be a NYT Bestseller NOW!" "I want that seven-figure deal NOW!"
But we can't let that jealousy rob us of our individual experience. Sure, we can look to the future and have hopes and goals, but we can't be so blinded by it we miss what's right in front of us. Everyone ahead of you was right where you are at one point, they just happened to go through it first. I'm learning to look at them as proof that these goals can actually be accomplished, and work my rear off to get there. Channel that desire to be where they are into making it happen, and don't give up and start whining about it all. It's WORK. Hard work. You have to love it.
As I'm waiting and waiting for my first book to make it onto a shelf next year, I've found myself wishing time would just HURRY UP ALREADY so I can realize that dream. But... why would I wish my life to speed up? I have plenty to enjoy at this stage, as well as a lot of work before I'm READY to be any farther along.
This is all very legit stuff - we can't all be Lauren Oliver and Margaret Stohl at this point in our lives. ;-) But I like what you said about seeing those people as examples of the fact that it IS possible to get there - it IS possible to have your book made into a theme park. I mean, that's pretty insane if you think about it, that there are enough people who read that book series to warrant someone building a theme park. And if it can happen to her, it can happen to someone else! :)
ReplyDeleteI also just try to be happy for other people, which is super hard sometimes. But I was genuinely excited when I saw Julie Kagawa got a 7-figure deal because I think she seems like such a cool person. And I was genuinely excited when Bloomsbury picked up your book because OBVIOUSLY you're a cool person. ;-) And I think it's just about stepping aside and saying, "You can go first. It's your turn, not mine. It's all you, girl, get it!" Of course, easier said than done when I see Lauren Oliver pounding out drafts and going on tour and etc. etc. lol
Well said, Kristin ... and KM, too. :) I have many more days when I'm genuinely happy for people who have book deals, etc, etc, than NOT happy.... (And I'm always thrilled when it's my friends!) But yeah, when you're having a bad day and the waiting feels too long, it is easy to want to skip over those tweets about someone-you-don't-know's good news. I guess it is a little bit of jealousy, but it's more of a mind game, because it's so easy to slip into this idea that everyone's succeeding except you, even when it's not true at all. It's good to be realistic all the time. This business just takes awhile, and that's gotta be okay. Like you said, we're all on our own, unique journey. :D
ReplyDeleteI don't think that far into book deals. I think, I'll write this and I hope someone will read it. I haven't been a popular writer though I think that is different. I don't know the logistics of what to hope for ... An agent? A contract? How about plain inspiration? I love that feeling. Great ideas here-you made me think!
ReplyDeleteSo true and a great post! That jealousy sneaks up on us too! Just when you think, i'm feeling pretty good about me right now, something sets it off. And for me it's always something weird that sets it off. Stupid feels
ReplyDeleteSo well said and a great reminder of all of us :)
ReplyDelete